Classroom Antics Reminiscent of Lucille Ball!

Blogging Naturally, Entry #6, July 22, 2011

Classroom Antics Reminiscent of Lucille Ball!

While on the road to discovery of ultimate health through Nature’s beautiful bounty I can’t help but make myself laugh at how my own shortcomings in the practical arts of food preparation are at this point in time!  I truly hope I am able to look back on this by this time next year and marvel at how naïve I was and how far I will have come.  (Does anyone fail the Chef’s Training Program?  Hmmmm a thought I will let go just as fast as it came in.  I know how the Secret works!)

A class of 12 mostly new students at the CTP 202M program began our first full Sunday in our part time program at the Natural Gourmet Institute for Health & Culinary Arts.  This means that we arrived by approximately 8:30 a.m. and eagerly awaited the start of our morning class which would consist of a lecture, followed by yet another lecture, followed by, you guessed it another lecture.  Although the Chef was so inspiring and chock full of interesting information, I think I can speak for all that attended; it was darn hard to keep the peepers from shutting out the light and closing down the show!  So, when the Chef announced to take a break and it was knife skills time the classroom ignited like the 4^th of July!  Yahoo we finally get to play with our knives!!!!!

We learned to identify the various parts in construction of our knives and the process behind the construction, all fine and dandy.  I felt almost like when I was handed my first child after pushing and panting for over 18 HOURS!  I was elated to have that knife in my hand and realized that this was what I was truly waiting for, an opportunity to yield that knife like a Ginsu Master!  Chop, chop, chop, dice, julienne and actually look like I belong in that kitchen!  I will earn that Pillsbury Dough Boy looking Hat!  The Chef who guided us through our first knife skills practical class was truly so lovely and encouraging.  I think he convinced our entire class that we were so fantastic in our first class that we were ready to take on an extra knife skills class that is offered by the school to all attending the Chef’s Training Program and is offered in addition to those that are given as part of the program.  He encouraged us to sign up for that class the very next day.  In addition to one full day of classes from 9:00 a.m. to about 6:30 p.m. we also must attend one evening a week from 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.

This particular knife skills class ran from 4:30 – 6:00 p.m. directly before our evening class.  No sweat, why not come in 1 ½ hours earlier to bone up on our knife skills, pun intended.  I arrived at the class ready for some serious cutting!  To start with one must steady their cutting board.  Now, the Chef the day before provided us all with a rubber mat to place underneath our board.  He did mention that if one was not handy a chef could use a wet kitchen towel and would work just as well.  When I first got to the class, early because I was nervous, I looked around for the rubber mats thinking they were provided by the school as part of the class.  When there was none to be found I thought I was being both creative and green by using the wet soiled towels from the class before that would be taken and delivered to their temporary home in the hamper in the steward’s office until they were laundered for the next eager class.  Not only did I grab one for myself, I also grabbed about 6 others for my new found friends who were also lost as to what we should use.  It turns out I did not do anyone a favor, particularly me!

Within one minute of start of class I was suddenly reminded of Chef Ramsey and instantly knew what it must feel like to be in his kitchen!  The conversation went a little like this; “Are these the school’s towels?”  Yes Chef.  “Who took them and what were you thinking?”  Chef, it was me Chef, Cindy.  Chef, I thought I was helping Chef, I am so sorry Chef, and would you like me to put them back?  “No, the damage is already done.  We never waste classroom kitchen towels by wetting them and using them underneath our boards; you should wet paper towels and use them but never, never do this again.”  Sorry Chef, I thought I was being green by using the wet towels from the previous class that were on their way to the steward hamper, so sorry Chef!  “Oh, I thought you took clean towels and wet them for use, still not a good idea and should not be done.”  Yes Chef, thank you Chef.

O.K. so now the tone was set for my first NAZI knife class!  I was now so incredibly nervous that my hand was actually shaking no matter what cut I was trying.  We had several choices of cuts and vegetables to choose from a list on the board.  Why in God’s name did I try a cut that we did not go over yet?  I think I now get why Mom always told me I was a glutton for punishment!  I decided to do the “roll cut” on a poor little carrot.  When I realized that my cuts looked nothing like my classmates I couldn’t bare the thought of the Chef staring at my mutilated cuts over my shoulder, therefore I threw my crappy scraps in the school’s stock bucket.  I tried again, and again and again.  That stock bucket was getting quite a few deposits from one particular friendly but lousy chef in training!  I felt like Lucille Ball in the episode where she and Ethel were working in the assembly line of the chocolate factory.  Lucy couldn’t keep up with the conveyor belt so she started hiding the chocolates and eventually eating way too many to try and rectify her obvious default in speed!  When the Chef eventually came over to me I think she was appalled at my obvious inept ability to neither hold my knife correctly nor produce any cuts that looked remotely like they should!  “Stand up straight, your holding the knife wrong, you must be cutting on an angle, curl your fingers in more on your bear claw.”  An already nervous Nellie that I was proceeded to open my mouth, when am I going to learn that more harm than good can come from that process!  I am sorry Chef; this is only my 2^nd time ever touching my knives Chef. “I know (she said), I am your Chef for the next 4 hours in tonight’s class.”  Great Chef, can’t wait Chef, thank you for your help Chef! 

Although the experience was stressful I do believe that ultimately that particular Chef will be my most valuable teacher.  I only hope she has the patience to keep instructing me and my Lucy ways!  I can tell you that becoming a Natural Chef is most definitely not natural to me at this point in time!  But I so love the excitement in the process!

Your Hopeful Natural Chef to Be,

Cindy D.